Q:

Dr. Tim: We are a family of four believers who want to do what is right. I have a 13 year old who is currently under counseling for panic/anxiety. Her grades have slipped a lot despite telling us she has no homework. She is displaying a deliberate avoidance of homework which is impacting her grades. How do we as parents, encourage her to set limits. As her parents, my husband and I are so frustrated. We are trying to help and yet she is willfully letting her grades slip.

Amber

A:

Dear Amber,

I would advise scheduling a session alone with her therapist to discuss your concerns. Or, ask the therapist to provide you with a referral for your own counseling services to discuss parenting strategies. It sounds like some family sessions may be needed as well. Every member’s actions affect each member of the family structure. Feelings are stirring that need to be addressed.

Adolescence is a time of “storm and stress.” Your 13 year-old has just entered this time in her life. Struggles to fit in, bodily changes, and desire for independence are just a few among many issues she is currently facing.

I wrote a book entitled, “Loving Your Child Too Much.” (The title is a play on words because you can never love your child “too” much) The book focuses on how you can stay close to your kids without overprotecting, overindulging or overcontrolling them. You can get it at www.aacc.net I also recommend taking a look at our website, www.ecounseling.com as you will find a lot of helpful information there.

God’s blessings,

Dr. Tim